The VSD of Prince Jonathan of Conte
by Black Mage Leah
Summary: What the books DON'T tell you. Don't take it seriously, I just live to bash.


The VSD of Prince Jonathan of Conte

By Lady Leah of Chaos and Some Help from Druidess Boudicca

A/n – If this offends you, then don't take it seriously. If you do take it seriously, you are a stiff tightwad who needs help. We're just having a bit of fun at Jonny Boy's expense.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I never will! _wallows in self-pity_

* * *

Day 1

Decided to keep a diary.

No, wait!

Diary sounds too feminine!

Decided to keep a LOGBOOK.

Yes, a logbook.

Not a diary.

Now that this decision has been made, I will now be primping myself in the mirror.

I know perfectly well I am so hot that no woman could resist me!

* * *

Day 2

Whew!

Keeping a diary is harder than I thought!

No! Must-resist-girly-thoughts…

Keeping a LOGBOOK is harder than I thought!

Today, I was cheating in reading and writing.

The priest got all mad, but it's not my fault I can't read!

I think it's his fault for being a bad teacher.

Oops, I hear someone coming.

Maybe I should put my diary away.

NO! LOGBOOK! NOT DIARY!

* * *

Day 3

Hello. This is Gary.

Ha. Found Jon's diary.

He calls it a logbook… _heh_

He's SO in denial!

I honestly think it runs in the family…

HIS side of the family, mind.

Not mine.

I think he might be chasing my father.

Holy crap.

That's a scary thought.

* * *

Day 4

I found Jonny's diary today.

Oh yeah… I'm Christine… He he he! Gary's right, Jon is SOOO in denial (it's not just a river in Egypt, you know…The Nile/ denial)

I like plays on words he he he…

* * *

Day 5

I told Daddy what happened.

He got the hell beaten out of Gary and Christine.

Well, he got the hell beaten out of Gary.

Christine was eating food in the stables, and we found her, and she morphed into a pretty little pink pony.

I petted her and named her Rainbow, and then she kicked me in the eye.

I cried.

She ran away.

* * *

Day 6

The other day when I was looking for my diary – I mean LOGBOOK!

Well, I saw a magazine in Mommy's room called American Girl.

There were lots of cool crafts and pretty ribbons.

I stole it because I err… I … um… wanted to get Mommy a Midwinter present.

Yes.

A Midwinter present for my Mommy.

I wasn't reading it.

I swear!

* * *

Day 43

Ooops. I lost the diary – I MEAN LOGBOOK! – in my hidden closet of pretty dresses!

Anyways.

A new page got here today.

And I got to be royal in front of Ralon!

I told him to meet me in my room at before lights-out… _heh_

I don't think he got the message though.

He didn't come.

I was sad.

New page hit him.

Yay! Now I can have new page protect me!

Says his name is Alan.

He looks like a teddy bear

His eyes are purple, just like my stuffed bunny, Mr. Bunnykins!

Wait, did I just write that?

FORGET I EVER WROTE THAT!

* * *

Day 44

Helped Gary show Teddy Bear around the palace.

Oops, did I say Teddy Bear?

I meant Page Alan.

Anyways, I was walking around with Alan and Gary, and we dropped Alan off at his bedroom after dinner.

Gary said something about my clothes.

I slapped him, and giggled a bunch.

He looked at me weird.

I cried.

* * *

Day 45

Alan is so nice!

I think we're going to be best friends!

Today at lunch I called him Teddy Bear.

Everybody looked at me funny.

I refused to say sorry, since I am a prince and can do whatever I want.

Alan rolled his eyes at me.

I had to resist the urge to cry.

* * *

Day 54

I had a nice dream last night.

I dreamt I was playing with my best friend Alan and we were bored so he held my hand and we got married!

It was fun!

We had ponies and rabbits and birdies and butterflies for my groomsmaids and I wore a pretty veil.

It had flowers on it.

It reminded me of the cover of my diary – I mean Log Diary – I mean LOGBOOK!

I conisdered telling Te-ALAN!

Yes, I considered telling Alan about it, but I ran out of time.

It made me sad, but I got happy again when a really pretty court lady smiled at me.

I smiled back.

Then I wondered if she would want to come back to my rooms that night.

Gary looked at me weird.

Then Raoul said, "Jon, that's your mother."

That might explain why she looked familiar.

* * *

Day 55

OOOH!

I just learned we're going on a field trip at the end of the year!

Personpoolleeeszzes or something like that.

I get to take Teddy Bea- that is, I get to take page Alan.

Better hide this; I think I hear Mommy coming to tuck me in.

* * *

Day 57

Uncle Gareth told me the trip isn't now.

It's in June.

Now it's November.

That stinks.

Bummer.

Well, I just hope I can take Teddy Be-Alan Bea- I mean Page Alan.

* * *

Day 58

Ralon hit Te-Alan in the face today.

Ralon is a meanie.

Will get Raoul to beat him up.

Raoul is good at that.

Teddy Bear will not say that he got his butt kicked.

He says he fell down.

Teddy Bear is a liar!

But he is very sexy !

* * *

Day 60

Served at a banquet today.

Ralon pinched Alan Bear.

I pouted, because I wanted to get to pinch Teddy – Alan!

Also, I am a price, so I should get first choice!

It wasn't fair.

After I left the banquet, I cried.

I hope Alan will beat him up.

Hey, see that!

I got his name right!

* * *

Day 81

Hello.

This is Alanna.

I'm writing in Jon's diary.

He is such a wuss.

He NOTICED Ralon pinching me?

What is he looking for?

Jon, you are such a pervert!

I hope you get attacked by evil demons on your field trip in three summers!

Holy crap, that sounds a lot like foreshadowing.

I read his plan to take "Page Alan" with him.

Screw that.

Not if I can help it.

* * *

Day 82

Who in the world is Alanna?

And why were they writing in my dia-Logbook!

And the trip isn't for three summers?

Dammit!

Ralon pinched them, too?

He's really getting around, isn't he?

No fair, I'm much sexier than him!

I wonder if Alanna is a girl…

I wonder how she knows my name…

And how she knows where I keep my diary-I mean logbook!

* * *

That's it for now, I have more written so I'll post it soon! REVIEW OR THE PURPLE SQUIRRELS IN MY HEAD WILL EAT YOU! 


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